Sunday, May 31, 2009

On a Tub of Lard


Did you think the expression "tub of lard" was merely a perjorative to use against the very corpulent?

I've actually seen a tub of lard being served at a dinner table for the first time in my life, and it was here in the village of (I can't remember its name but it was spelled 'Unpronounceable') ... and it was actually served as any accompaniment to bread. No, this is not a land of cholesterol counters.

Their hospitality is, however, amazing. Absolutely amazing. And it was a very pretty tub....

The hospitality of these Czechs ... yes, it is truly beyond belief. Unless it is a plot to clog my arteries. In 2 days I will face the Moravian National Opera; the next 48 hours consists of me trying to solve all the problems back in Bangkok, making sure I don't have an Alzheimer's moment during Nabucco by attempting to commit the score to memory if possible, and of course, ingesting endless tubs of lard. So, I am multitasking right now; playing a video of the Moravian Opera's production of Nabucco which I get to take over on Thursday, sending instructions to Thailand about the sets and costumes for THAIS, and of course, anticipating with salivating jaws the next lard installment.

They are constantly making fun of my trying to order a "mini-porci" of every dish....

Those Wild and Wacky Slovenes




In Bratislava, the opera was showing Haydn's "L'isola deshabitata", one of this rare Esterhazy period operas. I wish I had been able to see it.



I didn't realize that the Slovenians were so musical until I sat on a five-judge panel listening to choirs from all these Eastern European countries (plus China). Slovenian choirs ran off with best of show both in the kiddie and the grownup categories and it was entirely unanimous. The Slovakians, the host country, didn't do quite as well.

The only thing that worried me a bit was when I invited one of their choirs to Thailand, they said, "Isn't it violent there?" The PR people of our government still have their work cut out for them it seems.



So now here am I in Olomouc. having departed Slovakia and slept through the change to another country (my hosts said to me, "Do not worry, there is no border.") Unlike in Bratislava, I encountered no communist-era architectural monstrosities on entering the city (in Bratislava these Stalinist blocks of concrete have been repainted in bright colors hide their origins).

My hosts' hospitality is almost mythlike. Yesterday I was taken out to two successive dinners in two countries, each one huger than the last (the mini-portion suggested by the restaurant turned out to be twice as vast as I expected!) and saw the central square of Olomouc in the middle of the night. I was even shown the prison, which I have to walk past on my way to the opera house from the hotel.

I guess I know what will happen to me if I fail. I can't imagine that Czech prisons would serve dinner twice a day....

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Hostel - 2009


You haven't lived until you've been trapped in a Chinese restaurant in Slovakia with 4 drunk music professors who only speak Czech (or Slovak) ... with broken German the only common language ... while 10,000 miles away, everything you've ever lived for is being torn apart....

Yes! I'm in a bizarre mediaeval hotel where access to the internet is obtained by getting a giant key from the front desk and a sign on the wall reminds you that a closed-circuit camera is watching your every move. There is no room service, but the bacon tastes divine ... so you know what happens to those missing tourists.

However, I heard some of the choirs who are going to compete tomorrow. They're just great -- particular the Slovenes. St. Petersburg is no slouch either. Singapore didn't show -- they're scared of the swine flu. Swine flu? In Bratislava? Well, it seems there is one case ... in the next country over. Well, we know how cautious they are in Singapore.

Got into Vienna this morning. Went straight to Slovakia. Tomorrow, Czechia. That's 3 countries in just about 30 hours. Of course, the Emperor Joseph II didn't know it was three countries; he thought it was just all him.

The above pic is with some of the professors, pre-drunken orgy :) I will reveal more tomorrow, but now jetlag is getting to me.....

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Davy Jones' Locker

Thailand has a new kind of sunken treasure, after a surfeit of Ming dynasty trading ships that happen to sink on dry land conveniently within a few feet of fake antique shops.

I'm referring of course to the recent discovery of containers, a couple of decades old, that may or may not contain the victims of human trafficking, the missing protesters from the 1992 military crackdown, or "toxic waste." Rumors are rampant.

In many ways it would be good to find the 1992 bodies. 1992 is a gaping wound in our society and though finding bodies would not solve anything, it would bring a sense of closure to many lives.

There are more skeletons in closets ... from Thaksin's so-called drug war, in which it was widely believed that people were being extrajudicially bumped off. It seems that prosecutions have now begun.

Once again, I think we all need closure.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

The Mysterious Purukhanda Strikes Again!




Well, there he goes again, this time treading the most dangerous ground of all ... for this time Purukhanda has tackled the one member of the "red team" whose arguments are entirely logical and who seems, uncynically and passionately, to really believe in the cause. Purukhanda has decided to have a longer intro to the rap this time, allowing the contrast between Mr. J's statements and reality to really sink in before actually proceeding to a virtuoso re-arrangement of J's words to produce complex melodies in the Isaan "mode". Never has so great an amount of intellectual ingenuity been lavished on a work of such little consequence ... or is it so little? Again, there's profound philosophy behind the satire.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Clash of the Pirates


So, the day I saw Star Trek, I read in the paper that the Patpong software pirates were clashing with Thai police who were trying to confiscate their wares.

I have to admit that I'm not suffering from nightmares over Paramount's failure to extract a few more miserable pennies from the third world. However, if a miserable artist such as myself is being hideously exploited, that's different. I see by checking the bit torrent websites that you can download a copy of my novel, Vampire Junction, for free. Each time that happens, I lose about a dollar. If all the dollars I lost were stacked end to end and turned into a noodle, I could probably eat my way to about Soi 12. I just can't get that upset about it. I mean, these people are reading my book. And while we all do this for the money ... no question ... is it really what we do it for?

Perhaps the Thai government should do for pirated movies what it has done for AIDS drugs; simply declare that, as an impoverished special case country, our people simply cannot get their Hollywood fix at Hollywood prices, and the copyrights be damned. Of course, that would be a very improper thing indeed. Joking aside, though, why not tax the illegal DVDs, put the money in a general fund, and distribute it to the owners according to some weighting formula, just as ASCAP distributes composer royalties for radio and TV? A 20 baht tax -- or 50, maybe, since the police would lose their protection money -- and a few underpaid government workers to determine the weighting system and skim a bit off the top, and the artists would probably get as much money as they would have had they been screwed by the real studios in the normal course of events.

Did see the (non-pirated) Star Trek at the Emporium. To my amazement, the luxury seats were sold out and I had to sit with the peons. Still, it was worth it.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Fair Play



Well, well, well. It appears that in the interests of "fair play", the mysterious Purakhanda, whose "Maew Rap" has garnered well over a quarter of a million hits, has responded to those who have impugned his political impartiality by creating a "Mark Rap" deconstructing some Abhisit videos as well. But it seems that the "Mark Rap" is quite critical of the Thaksinites. Perhaps this shows Purakhanda's true colors, or perhaps it merely shows the realities that he has to work with.

In many ways this is a far more interesting artistic construct because Purakhanda uses the rearranged words to send quite a profound message about the nature of politics. Whereas the "Maew Rap" points up an underlying buffoonery in Thailand's political discourse, the "Mark Rap" uses the refined lancet of satire to open up and expose the very bowels of politics.

Using the serendipitous fact that the word "key" in English means "shit" in Thai, Purakhanda shows us that the key to politics is, indeed, shit. In order to be successful, one must get one's hands dirty. I'm afraid, though, that this video isn't as ha-ha funny as the other. The problem is in the raw material. Abhisit is too articulate and too in control of his utterances to be funny per se, so I see that Purakhanda has found other techniques to drive home his point.

It's a pity that the subtleties of this video will be wasted on those who don't speak both Thai and English. But there it is.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The View from my Front Door

It's the monsoon season again and here's Jay standing by the Operamobile. This happens once a year, though it really doesn't affect things that much; people just work around the rain. On the other hand, it must be said that politically speaking, it's the wrong season to stage big open-air protests....

Jay's first day at an English-speaking school produced a few memorable comments. "In my new school," he told me in wonderment, "the kids actually all raise their hands to ask and answer questions!" This isn't something that happens in the average Thai class, even with 50 kids ... it's hard to see a single hand up....

Friday, April 24, 2009

Glasnost a la thailandaise


Years and years ago ... about three decades ... when I was an enfant terrible and not the eminence grise that I am today ... there was a peaceful student protest in Thailand that was bloodily put down by the Thai military. Martial law was imposed and, in order to justify their coup, the generals fabricated visual evidence of a plot against Thailand's most cherished institution, complete with doctored photographs of non-existent scenes of students desecrating these sacred symbols. Their control of the media was absolute, and the somewhat incompetently retouched photographs were not questioned for years.

Last week's situation was rather different. A violent protest, whose leaders (some genuinely idealistic, with real grievances) were simply unable to control the mob they had hired, was dispersed by the military under the firm control of civilians, with minimal violence and no direct deaths. (Two residents, incensed at having their homes invaded, were killed in a brawl with the protesters. The evidence seems to point the blame firmly on the protesters, although they are no trying to say that the killers were army militia in disguise.)

The government made no attempt to control the media, and yesterday allowed an open, televised debate on what happened. It was important to do that because the opposition, using the old playbook from the days of bloody coups, had made the assumption that there would be a huge mess and that in response the people would rise up to throw out the government.

When that didn't happen, there was no backup plan. If they couldn't show that this was a bloody and oppressive crackdown, the credibility of their cause -- including their genuine grievances -- would disintegrate. Which is a pity, because the genuine grievances ought to have been best served by a parliamentary process.

What we witnessed today is not going to be on CNN, because it's hours and hours of debate in Thai, and it doesn't have burning buses or angry mobs beating up cars. But it was far more important that what was shown on CNN because it showed a new kind of governance in action. The government was made accountable for what it did, and charges, even the most far-fetched, were able to be aired.

We watched the representative from Phayao give an impassioned and moving speech about a woman, whom, she said, had been dragged by the hair by a soldier. She played a video clip and indeed, it appeared shocking. Indeed, we had seen the same clip on CNN. She cited the U.N. charter on human rights and demanded that the prime minister immediately step down in response to what had been done to this woman.

The short, attention-getting video clip that looks really bad was of course, right out of the 1976 playbook. It had worked well for the generals, who got away with killing hundreds of unarmed students thirty years ago. Could the same technique be used to prove that Abhisit's virtually bloodless disbanding of the protest was in fact a bloody crackdown? Certainly, the representative's rhetoric was powerful.

But this is a different era. For one thing, the clip wasn't the only recording of the scene. The media had been present throughout, and it was therefore easy to produce any number of complete, unedited videotapes of the entire scene that had transpired. The clip shown by the representative showed someone dragging a woman, true ... you had to just believe their contention that it was a member of the military in disguise. But the entire tape showed clearly that this was an altercation between the red shirts and the press, and the only military intervention was to break up the squabble. It also showed these women (whom the representative described as pitifully imploring, grovelling in front of the soldiers and bringing them water) screaming obscenities at the press and being physically in-your-face for a very long time before someone decided to make it a brawl. When another representative stated that the person attacking the woman was a soldier disguised as a civilian, and gave his name, rank, and serial number, it seemed almost childishly simple for the government to rebut with produce pictures of that same soldier to show that he looked nothing like the attacker in question.

It became increasingly clear that the short clip in question was a Rorschach test: one could see a brutal suppression if that was one's agenda, and one could also see any number of alternate scenarios.

The C-span-like coverage is a first, I think, for this country, but we got to see all sorts of things people didn't want us to see ... because the cameras were unflattering to both sides, and didn't attempt to create a novelistic story out of it.

In short, times have changed since the days when you could produce a single photograph to prove your conspiracy theory. Someone, somewhere videotapes everything these days. From surveillance cameras to passersby with iPhones, there are always points of view you cannot control. Let's hope they all learn to deal with it.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

An Immodest Proposal concerning Ms California


My quest for exciting news about the Taliban takeover of Pakistan and other world-shattering events on CNN was interrupted by a panel of experts discussing Miss California's "position" on same-sex marriage. It was infuriating that the heartfelt, if brainless, remarks of this physically astounding specimen of womanhood should generate such punditry, and it got me to thinking....

What is it about the word "marriage" that upsets people so much? If a same-sex couple were perchance to receive all the legal rights and protections they should be getting, why would they still insist on the word "marriage?" Conversely, if you were not a same-sex couple, but you didn't mind them getting the various legal benefits of a civil union, why would you care enough to deny them the satisfaction of using the M-word?

At this point, such hallowed phrases as "the sanctity of marriage" begin to resound. And once the word "sanctity" pops into the dialogue, you know that you are outside the realm of civil rights and into the realm of religion.

I would like to suggest a radical solution to the semantic dilemma.

If the U.S. congress were to define marriage, not as the "union between" any particular numbers of persons of any gender, but as a "religious ritual" -- which is what is has always been, historically -- then all legislation about marriage would automatically be null and void as it would fall under the separation of church and state. I mean, congress doesn't legislate about baptism or extreme unction, let alone confession or excommunication. It can't.

This would mean than ONLY civil unions would qualify for whatever benefits they are qualified for by law. It would mean that institutions like plural marriage, same-sex marriage, and weddings in church and so on, could all take place under the aegis of whatever religion permitted such marriages, while having nothing whatever to do the kind of union that could provide the legal protections that should be provided couples of any sort.

Indeed, Miss California, in her foolishness, put her finger right on it, when she said "I'm not being politically correct, I'm being biblically correct." Precisely. And the U.S. constitution does not permit any legislation concerning biblical correctness. Therefore it can be argued that the constitution does not grant the congress, or the courts, the right to define "marriage" at all.

Of course there would have to be some kind of grandfather clause so that people married in church in the past could continue to receive the benefits of a civil union. But it's a solution which would eliminate a lot of needless debate and frustration, and CNN would have more time for real news....

Or would it?

Nah.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Ballard of Lost Time


I pause to reflect for a moment on J G Ballard. I didn't really know Jim Ballard at all well but can't help feeling depressed about the passing of another giant. I also found out that it's Hitler's birthday. I am sure some kind of numerological, even eschatological, conclusion will be drawn from this.

Do you all remember the scene where the boy sees the distant flash of Hiroshima and doesn't know what it really is? Or the queasiness we all felt when he fingered a certain unnameable feeling people get when watching a car crash, and told us this feeling was actually sexual excitement? He was totally original, and scarier than any horror writer.

I said two words about Ballard on Facebook and Pete Young reminded me of my little homage to Empire of the Sun in my novella The Bird Catcher. Writing him into the opening of this story was like the ancient Thai tradition of wai kru, paying homage to one's teachers before beginning any creative endeavor.

Jay - the latest news



A year ago I talked in this blog about a kid named Jay who walked into our office for an audition. He turned out to have a very compelling story which you can read about in this old blog...

I want to tell those who wanted to know what happened to him ... last week, Jay auditioned for, and has been offered, a highly prestigious music scholarship to the Thai branch of the one of the world's top schools -- Harrow. This is a place that costs upwards of $30,000 a year to send your kid to, so it is an astonishing leap for someone who only a year ago was busking in the weekend market to put food on the table. All sorts of people chipped in to make this possible, notably Dr. Paul Beresford-Hill, former headmaster of Patana School (where I went to as a child.) He's also the proud possessor of a new violin which should hold him until someone sees fit to give him a Strad.

We're all quite stunned at how he has managed to pull this off.

Meanwhile, the child prodigy in residence, Trisdee, has been selected as young conductor of the year at the Rossini Festival in Rossini's birthplace, Pesaro and he's also going to conduct some performances of Cosi fan Tutte at the Opera du Rhin in France ... but in fact I have to say that he is no longer famous as Thailand's most brilliant musician under 25 (or even 50). The video he created on youtube has eclipsed all his classical music achievements, reaching 1000 hits an hour today and getting listed on world-wide top comedy lists. You can watch it below....