Friday, November 16, 2007

The Thai Toad Test


Last week I was on the radio on the inimitable Dr Poonpit's show, chatting about Wagner. Only, as so frequently happens when we start to chat, the subject begins to stray, and the good doctor began to describe an interesting piece of Thai traditional medicine which was practiced during his apprenticeship in back in the "dark times" ... well, let's say the 1940s or thereabouts. Toads were used as a pregnancy test.

The young apprentices had to catch male toads by moonlight each night and deliver them to the Siriraj hospital by morning. The toads were then assigned to different obstetricians in order of seniority. If there weren't enough toads, junior ob-gyns had to wait their turn.

The male toads received a sort of enema of the testee's urine sample, after which, it seems, if the woman was pregnant, the toad would become excited to the extent that its own bodily effluvium would contain a higher sperm count. This sample, viewed under a microscope, was the test which, according to Dr. Poonpit, is one of the few nuggets of genuine, Thai-originated medical knowledge ever to be discussed in learned circles in the west under the name of the Thai Toad Test.

This is the kind of thing one learns when one goes on the air to promote "Die Walküre"....

Thursday, November 15, 2007

The Charred Hand of Fate


Waking up from a nightmare.…

Well, that's not an uncommon experience in life, but this one has haunted me all day. We are in the midst of a wildly exciting production of Wagner's Die Walküre, with a shatteringly brilliant cast.

So, last night, I am in a car, driving through a deserted country road with my co-director Anette Pollner. We reach a stretch of the road where once, some time ago, someone has been run over.

As my car reaches the spot where the accident happened, the charred hand of a dead person busts through the floor of the car (Carrie popup style) and grabs my arm and tries to pull me down through the bottom of the car. I'm sinking in and the dead person pulls so hard that I start to go through the floor. But the car is still in motion so there is a monstrous tug of war. I hold on to things, the steering wheel, the gearshift, trying to prevent myself from being sucked down, but as I wake it seems about to happen....

I discovered that my breathing machine has sprung a leak, and that the mask doesn't fit well enough. Maybe that is the reason for all this....